Finding God, and his son Jesus

To whom this my concern,

My names Alyssa, ill start out by giving you a little background about myself. I am 22, have a beautiful two year old son, nicknamed CJ. I've been with his father now for about 4 years, we aren't on best terms right now but i love him so much! I am also in the quest of following Jesus.

Lets begin with my story about finding Jesus, I was raised Catholic, we went to church every Sunday since i remember. After 16 years of going there, i didn't learn very much. Just that Jesus died on the cross for us, but i didn't understand why or anything beyond that. Fast forward 5 years, when i was 21, I started working at the post office as a rural carrier. After about a month of being there, i meet a women named Gloria, who trained me on her route. After spending the day with her i realized that she was a true believer in God, she had so much light about her. Once my three days of training were done, i had a lot of time to think about what she told me about God. Where did i stand on my beliefs? How come everyone else knows more about God than me?

As usual life got busy and God faded out of my sight, i thought about him once in a while and knew that there was a God, or at least i hoped that there was a God. Then the day came, i had just bought a right-hand-drive 1996 Jeep; i was flipping through the radio stations, which were all static (since it was RHD, it was imported from Japan). Then finally the only station that came in was 89.1, a christian station. God had found his way back, and for good this time.

I still contemplated a lot about who Jesus and God were. Were they really who was in the Bible? I mean it's just a book, there's a chance it could be made up.  Every time I had that thought run through my head i felt so guilty, and i would apologize to him for not believing. I knew i couldn't shake the fact that there was a God, but what kind of God?

As a rural carrier i would drive for 5 hours of the day, so i would have a lot of time to think about who God was to me. In my mind, i did want to be a "Jesus freak", so i didn't go to church for a long time. But I knew that's where i would find him, I started checking out a few churches and none of them stuck, I had felt farther away from God than i have in a long time. Finally I asked my fiance's parents if i could go with them, and they happily agreed.

That Sunday i attended church, i had pulled in and this was the first church that wasn't massive in size. I walked in and was greeted immediately by two very friendly men, and CJ had some friends to play with. Mass (growing up Catholic, that's what we called service) had gone and went and i still didn't know if this was the church for me. 5 minutes after arriving home, i got a ring at the door, looking out, there was no one, opening it, to find a bag from the Church. There was a vase, water bottle, lip bomb, and 2 books; one of the books really stood out to me, it was called "Is Christianity for you". I immediately had a urge to read it, glancing at the table of contents, chapter 2 looked appealing, not even the 3rd paragraph in, tears started rolling down my face. By the second page i could hear Jesus screaming in my mind "This is where you belong in life", by that point I was full on bawling.

After that day, I have seen Jesus in a different light. I opened myself up to him, so he can teach me the way of life. I have been going to church on a regular and hopefully going to start join a community group. Tonight i joined a bible study group, opening my eyes to what "following Jesus" really looked like. I'm hoping that well make that a weekly occurrence. Its nice to finally have people in my life that have the same love for Jesus as I do!


That's my summed up quest for God. Even in the times of doubt at the beginning, i just knew he was there with me the whole time. I hope this blog will help someone struggling to find faith, hes out there, just invite him in.

God is good all the time. All the time, God is good.